Therapy
Family Counseling in Duluth
Family counseling is a room where those patterns become visible, with someone in it whose job is to make sure everybody actually gets heard — including the person who has stopped trying.
When families come in
— Conflict that has become the normal temperature of the house
— A teenager who has withdrawn, is struggling at school, or is angry in a way nobody can reach
— Separation or divorce, and how to do it without the children paying for it
— Blended families finding the joins
— A death or a serious diagnosis in the family
— A family member's mental illness or addiction, and its effect on everyone else
— Parents who cannot agree on an approach and are being played off against each other
— Siblings whose conflict has stopped looking like normal sibling conflict
— Estrangement, or an attempt to repair one
— Deployment, or a parent returning from one
What actually happens in the room
Not everyone has to attend every session. Sometimes it is the whole household, sometimes it is two people, sometimes the young person is seen individually and the parents separately, with joint sessions at intervals. Your therapist will work out the shape with you.
The early sessions are largely about mapping — who talks to whom, what happens when something goes wrong, what each person believes the others think of them. That last one is frequently where the surprises are. From there the work is usually some combination of communication skills, de-escalation, boundary setting, repairing specific ruptures, and helping parents get onto the same page.
Families often expect to be told who is at fault. That is not the job. The point is to change what happens next.
Children and teenagers
Most of our clinicians work with young people from around age 12, and some from age 10. Charles Fai, MA, LPCC works with children, teenagers and families and has particular experience with adolescent behavioural concerns, working closely with parents on what is happening at home, at school and in the community. Carly Sandmann, MSW, LICSW and Leah DeBoer, MSW, LGSW both work with adolescents and young adults. See teen and adolescent therapy for more.
When family therapy is not the right tool
If the dispute is really a decision that has to be made — a parenting schedule, an inheritance, a family business, who cares for an elderly parent — family and community mediation may be the better and faster route. It is structured, neutral, confidential and aimed at a workable agreement rather than at insight. We offer both, and can help you work out which one you need.
FAQ
Common questions
Does everyone have to come?
No. Family therapy can start with whoever is willing. Change in one part of a family tends to move the rest, and reluctant members often join later once nothing terrible has happened to the ones who went.
My teenager refuses to come.
Very common. Start without them. Parent-only work on how you are responding is genuinely effective, and it removes the standoff about attendance, which is often half the conflict.
Is what my child says confidential from me?
Broadly, young people need some privacy for therapy to work, and parents need enough information to parent. Your therapist will set out clearly at the start what will and will not be shared, and safety concerns are always shared.
Can we do family sessions by video?
Yes, and it can be easier when family members are in different households — after a separation, or with an adult child living elsewhere in Minnesota.
You can usually be seen this week
Depending on availability we offer same-day or next-day appointments. There is no long waitlist and no referral required for most plans.